BRETT HURSEY's comedies have appeared in over two hundred and fifty theaters across the country including venues in Boston, Washington DC, Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Hollywood, as well as internationally in England, Belgium, Luxembourg, Romania, Australia, South Korea and Canada. He's also had over fifty off/off-off Broadway productions in Manhattan.
CHAZ
No -- I paid for a fortune -- and I want a fortune. (Throwing down the slip of paper)
Not this lame crap!
WAITRESS
Ooooo-kay. No problem. I’ll be right back.
(WAITRESS quickly exits stage right.)
ROXANNE
Don’t you think you’re overreacting a little?
CHAZ
Look, all I want is a fortune cookie with an actual fortune inside. Is that asking too much?
ROXANNE
OK, fine. Calm down -- you’re making a scene.
(WAITRESS enters stage right.)
WAITRESS
(Placing a plate on the table)
Here we go -- new cookies for everyone…
CHAZ
(To ROXANNE)
You go first.
ROXANNE
You sure? I mean, I wouldn’t want to stand between you and a fortune you’ve already paid for…
CHAZ
Ha, ha. Very funny.
ROXANNE
(Opening the cookie -- reading)
“Your smile is a sunrise on dark horizons.”
CHAZ
(Hurriedly)
Great.
(Opening his cookie-- reading)
“Whew -- it’s about time I got out of that lousy cookie.”
(Throws the slip of paper down) That sucks! I want another one!
WAITRESS
Alright! Give me a second.
(WAITRESS runs off right.)
ROXANNE
Come on, Chaz…
CHAZ
No! No way! I’m not taking this…
ROXANNE
Taking what, Chaz? They’re just cookies…
CHAZ
Says the girl who gets all the good fortunes -- for free…
ROXANNE
Jesus, you really are a jerk-face…
(WAITRESS enters stage right and places one cookie in front of ROXANNE and one in front of CHAZ.)
ROXANNE
(Opening her cookie -- reading)
“Watch your step -- love is right around the corner.”
CHAZ
(Opening his cookie -- reading)
“You will be hungry again in another hour.”