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Saturday, July 12, 2014

LULZ for Playwrights

NOTE TO NYCPLAYWRIGHTS - the "submission opportunities" below are not real, no matter how true-to-life they may seem. This is a parody piece from McSweeney's.

SUBMISSION OPPORTUNITIES FOR EMERGING PLAYWRIGHTS.
BY JUSTIN WARNER 
THE MAJESTIC ROYALE THEATRE PLAYWRITINGCOMPETITION is now accepting entries. Winner receives staged reading and $50 cash prize. Entry fee: $60. We will also automatically withdraw a $10 notification fee from your PayPal account when you reach the end of this sentence. Winning playwright must travel at his or her own expense to Hoopers Mill, Wisconsin, by way of Kenosha, because our Managing Director left his umbrella in a diner there so it would be cool if you could swing by and pick it up for him.
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THE PLAYWRIGHTS’ THEATRE OF ACTORS’ SEMI-ANNUAL 8-TO-11-MINUTE PLAY FESTIVAL presents plays inspired by a common theme. This round’s theme: paper towel absorbency. It is not necessary to use paper towels on stage, but the plot must hinge on the absorbency of paper towels, in either a literal or metaphorical sense. Scripts about linen towels will be returned unread.
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REPERTORY REP’S DRAMALAMADINGDONG seeks plays about Disability and/or the Spanish-American War. Playwrights should meet at least two of the following criteria: current resident of Colorado or Delaware; direct descendant of pirates; Capricorn. No “kitchen-sink” plays; plays depicting kitchens without sinks or sinks in other rooms OK.
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